Love vs. Ideology: What Motivates Us To Gather?

“If I… can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, … but have not love, I am nothing.” (1 Cor 13:2)

Recently, my husband and I set out to do something very simple: open our home to friends and family weekly for a meal. The meals would be simple ones that we could make a lot of and keep warm, which in turn would allow people to come when they could and would accommodate whoever happened to show up. While we have kept our hearts open to where this may lead, our idea was not to have some sort of “church meeting” but rather to create a place of community, hospitality and love where all were welcome.

This gathering is really a very small beginning, and we are learning about how to create a place of community, and have much to learn, but very quickly it went from simple to complex. I don’t wish to go into details, but much of the complexity came from the thought that we should do certain things, otherwise our gathering was invalid. Without sharing any details, I wrote to some friends that I felt as if “a whole pile of religious obligation was being laid on my doorstep.” And may I say, lest any jump to quick conclusions, that the religious obligation was not “institutional” in nature, that is not related to the “institutionalization” of church life, but part of common teachings about how house churches should function. And the ideas themselves were not bad ones, but several questions arise in my heart from them, such as: What motivates us to gather? What informs the form that our gatherings take? How do we know when we really get it right?

What strikes me is that much of the rhetoric around so-called “organic” or “New Testament house church” meetings becomes about doing it “right,” “according to the Biblical pattern,” etc. I think this is laudable to desire something that mirrors the 1st century church, and is biblical. But a focus on the “the right way” becomes an ideology, and even if our form is precisely what the 1st century believers did, if that’s as far as it goes, it will be all wrong. These men and women were remarkable. They “turned the world upside down,” and indeed changed history. But I fear sometimes in our zeal to have what is “biblical” we put the cart before the horse.  For instance, we can be so bent on having a meeting where “everyone has a hymn, a word of instruction, a revelation…” etc. (1 Cor 14:26), that we miss the point of why Paul was writing about these things, which is found in 1 Corinthians 13. Over and over again, in scriptures it is emphasized that the aim is love. Love for God, love for one another, and love for the people of the earth. I have deep and high regard for the Bible, but our understanding of its teachings will only be complete when our starting place and our goal is our desire to love as Jesus loved.

The thing is we tend to speak of love as a kind of an add-on. We emphasize many other things, and then as an afterthought we say, “and yes, love is important too.” In the body of Christ when we try to emulate the 1st century church, we focus on form, structure, church government, modern day apostles, discipleship, groups of 12 (G12), cell groups, house churches, the gifts of the Spirit, church planting strategy, etc, and then because we know we should, we say, “and of course we need to love too…” And if anyone brings up the importance of love, there will be all kinds of ways to get off that subject, and back onto the important subjects like “What was the structure of the biblical new testament church?” or “What is the biblical strategy for planting churches?” or “What does a New Testament gathering look like?” All these are indeed important, but if we have not love…

When I wrote these things to some co-workers, one of them, wrote back the following:

“…the simple things are most often neglected while often being the most significant and profound. No planning, special gifts or strategy is needed, it’s something that every person can do, no matter their physical or mental condition.”

He then wrote about his sister Joy, who was severely handicapped from birth and was not able to walk, speak much, or to be easily understood when she did speak, and yet Joy had an amazing and deep ability to love everyone.

And this may be precisely why we prefer to focus on something else.  Simplicity does not appeal to our spiritual pride. We want to feel we have something that no one else can do, that we have fathomed some deep mystery which others have yet to see, but to have God tell us to do something that a child can do, or a mentally handicapped person… Well, that just isn’t good enough. We will do all the extremely dramatic things such as “surrendering our body to the flames” or “giving all our possessions to the poor” or “moving mountains” with our faith rather than do that simple thing of loving our neighbor. This we brush aside. All the while not really appreciating that truly loving as God loves is more difficult and more powerful than even the most awe-inspiring miracle. When Jesus said “as I have loved you, so you too ought to love one another” He was asking us to do the impossible. The impossible. We need this to sink deep down into our spirits.  I believe sometimes the weak are better at this precisely because they know they are weak — they are used to depending on God, and so His love flows more freely. He wants to bring us to the same point of realization of our weakness as He brought the disciples to in the days after His death. When we realize we are completely incapable of what He is asking of us, we will cry out to Him, and in that day, He will answer.

I wrote another essay titled “Only Love Can See.” I believe this is a key principle in understanding New Testament church life. The band of misfits who birthed the first church didn’t know how the church would be administered; they didn’t know they would meet in houses; they didn’t know even what it meant to be an apostle (except that it meant ‘to be sent”); they only knew Jesus, and His love, and that He had asked them to do the impossible: to love Him and one another with the same kind of love that He had loved them (alarming!). This is why I believe they waited for the Holy Spirit, and when they received Him, they were empowered to love. All strategy, all form, all structure, all administration, and all miracles — all flowed out of this love. Yet, we still think we can emulate the 1st century church form and what we see of their strategy and we will experience first century church life. We cannot. It is only love that gives us eyes to see the intent behind these things. We must start with love, and love must also be our aim. Anything short of that is nothing.

5 responses to “Love vs. Ideology: What Motivates Us To Gather?

  1. Reblogged this on Alternative Church and commented:

    Here is a recent post from my new blog site “Beautiful Question”

  2. Wow, beautifully put. I think too often I, and many other Christians, have thought of love as an act and not as the embodiment of faith itself. We tend to separate it from other commandments of Jesus because it is the one we cannot do alone. We must remember we can do nothing apart from God, and that everything we are called to do must be rooted in love or it is worthless.

    • AlanaSusan,
      Love the way you put that “love… as the embodiment of faith itself…” It reminds me of how the Gospels often speak of Jesus being touched with compassion before many of his miracles (see for example: Matt 20:34, Mark 1:41, Matt 15:32). Jesus’ acts of faith flowed out of His heart of love and compassion. But all too often, we want to do the former (the works) without the pain of the latter (the love). But as you (and Paul) say such works really are worthless.

  3. Interesting and enlightening my friend. I must admit that I am one of those guys who has been taught “the proper way to do church” from the denominational side of the equation. I think that your assessment is dead on – love must come first. Jesus makes this point abundantly clear throughout Scripture. I am a having to “unlearn” a lot of bad habits along the way. If I’m understanding your heart correctly, you are saving that teaching, biblical discipleship and mission flows out of “love” and not the other way around. I’m good with that. The programmed methods of force feeding the Bible to unwilling recipients has never worked. What has your experience been so far? Are your friends growing in relationship and faith in Christ as a result? In other words, are you finding that this simple (and I must say plausible approach – even for a stiff like me) is causing the people you love to dig into the Scriptures for themselves to “taste and see that God is good?”

  4. Junction242, yes, that’s it. And further whatever the “proper way” is, we can only understand its nuances through the lens of love. So even if we could somehow transport ourselves back in time and see the exact activities of the believers in the New Testament, but we did not experience the same kind of love that they had for one another, if we came back and tried to imitate what we had seen, we still would not be doing what they did, nor would we experience the same life. We tend to over-emphasize form and the “proper way,” not only on the denominational side of things, but also on the non-denominational, house church, organic church, New Testament church side of things (whatever label we use to describe ourselves).

    Experience so far? I think loving reminds me of the parable of the sower. In the Body of Christ, we often sow seed but have not done the hard labor of plowing up and preparing the soil. So, then we wonder when the seed springs up quickly, but has no root, when trials cause people to fall away, when the enemy snatches away the seed before it even has a chance to grow, or when cares of life make the seed unfruitful. To experience the fruit of a farmer we need the patience of the farmer. And all the while we need Jesus to teach us how to really love with His kind of love, which we are really terrible at and honestly need the power of His Spirit to do. So we are kind of like handicapped plowmen, but going in the strength that we have, and learning as we go. So, yes, I think there has been enough “first fruits” to encourage us that this is what He really wants us doing, but we really need grace to keep pursuing love, and not give up, because this is the hard work. Love is what plows up the fallow ground.

    Thanks for your questions — may have inspired my next post.

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